found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You are a genius and a whore.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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