so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
