Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize