Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
