I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
