You can't special order awesome
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize