I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
