She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
