you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
