I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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