He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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