...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
