We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
