East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
