i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
