every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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