I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
