When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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