Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
