escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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