Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize