I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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