i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
