so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
