I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
