No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
