The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
