I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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