Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
