whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
