I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
