The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
