if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
