Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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