i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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