So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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