why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
