you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
