He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
