bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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