ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
