My brain says no but my pants say off.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
