I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
