Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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