Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
