Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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