Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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