Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
