Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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