Soap is not a condiment
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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