i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
