About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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