hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
