So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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