We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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