hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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