Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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