I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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