I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize