i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
