Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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