i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
