don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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