i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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