I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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