yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
