So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
