This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
