Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
