ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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