now i know why i became what i already was.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
