Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am one with the molecules
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
