I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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