if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
