Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just want nice things and good sex
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
