i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize