I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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