So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
