what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh god it's open bar.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
