Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
